Sawatdee Chiang Mai - Day 6 (Back to Bangkok)

we jet out of chiang mai on a early flight to bangkok. excited. what's next? what other beautiful things will we see?

oh but the "hired" drivers at the airport.. they can drive you crazy. we fanaggle with one. try to walk away but they already have our stuff and are starting to load in the car. what? you are too expensive we don't want a ride from you. okay fine. but, only if you take the highway. Matt this does not look like the highway... we are not stupid tourist (well not today). finally our hotel. the hotel of my choice, I am super excited about it. our room, enter. oh this is not at all what I expected. oh no. we can't stay here. Damn Conde Neste, this is no 2007 best hotel, this is crap.

Please don't let this be a continuation of last night and another day not in our cards. back to the admirial with the rooftop pool. no charge at the original hotel. this is a turn for the better. we are starving and instead of the pool this time, it is our friend, Chiang beer, calling our names.

we are full. we are happy. I feel funny, do you feel funny? we are fucked up. we heart Chiang beer. Spa time? Yep. I get a one hour hot oil massage. hot, not really. but good, yes. and a one hour facial. trust me we are at an actual spa, not a "massage palour." But still, it's a little weird. Matt gets a 2 hour traditional thai massage. weird. good. maybe sore. tired. Maybe weird because "Michelle" was his masseuse?!? did I mention there are a lot of lady-boys in thailand? Okay "Michelle" was not his masseuse but it could have been pretty damn funny.

Back to the hotel. Smoothies & internet. the pool, ahh the pool. breeze is lovely. sun is lovely. did I see that it was -7 degrees at home?!? ahh the pool.

Pizza for dinner. real italian pizza, I mean real italian pizza. it is awesome. time to wander. we venture from Asok to NaNa, along sumkuhvit road. Stall after stall of merchandise aka crap. shoes. jewelry. watches. bags. luggage. pornos. food. etc. etc. we see every culture. middle eastern. african. asian. european. we smell every smell. we see some of the strangest food. and burkas, real burkas. I've never seen real burkas before. middle eastern men have a staring problem. and don't forget the elephant, just wandering down the middle of the street. cultural overload. i feel high, again. did I mention we think Chiang beer is laced with opium?

It's late. more white men with asian women. hookers and drag queens everywhere. remember that neon street? this is it. Cowboy Soi. Oh my god. neon lights. sex for sale. street is packed. how many perverts are there? Matt doesn't think they are all for sale... really? trust me they are all for sale. close your mouth, terrin. don't look too shocked. damn I wish my memory card in the camera wasn't full. slightly distrubing. this is too much. It's time to go to bed.

Motorbike, Motorbike - Day 5 (Chiang Mai cont'd)

Please dont' let us die, get stranded or lost on the motorbike.

motorbike adventure to mountian of Doi Suthep. windy, curvy roads. Mountain temple is the ultimate goal. they drive on the wrong side of the road. we are behind a tour bus the entire way. but we survive. we make it. 350 stairs to the top. Look, see the monks. the views would be beautiful minus the smog. temple is beautiful. well worth the trip. but isn't everything in thailand? bells, bells and more bells. I am officially obsessed with taking pictures of bells.

we are back at the bottom. the markets are good wish we could buy more. And again, the food it's every where. tons and tons of fruit. fruit we have never ever seen before. those strawberries with sugar look delicious. wait that's not sugar, it's spicy thai salt, interesting. we buy more fruit, this time neon green. do you know what this is? no, no idea. but it's delicious. and the people watching is superb. not many westerners.

time to go. rut-ro we are out of petro... throw her in nuetral and coast down the mountain. it's beautiful. we are like little kids, look no hands, well not Matt, but me. we find a gas stations, petro is $2. for real $2 to fillup.

Off to Lamphun. Lamphun is not much of a town but just the motorbike ride through the country is worth it. we see local thais. we are in areas with zero tourists. look rubber trees, like Hawaii. and the monks, they are everwhere, going to school, collecting alms. the culture, i have no words. we stumble across a small restuarant. they apparently don't get many tourists because they can't stop giggling at us and staring at us. foreign, white people equals crazy excitement. that in itself makes the trip. When are we ever the miniority? and lunch 2 bowls of noodles + 2 bottles of H20..... 65 baht.... holy crap that is $1.75.. what?!? we are definitely a spectacle.

really? the super highway? you want to take the superhighway back? and man is it super. we drive 100 kmph on the shoulder back to Chiang Mai. on a motorbike. that's a holy shit kind of crazy. oh our butts and our legs. we are sore. time to give up the motorbike. we are tired. and Matt do you hear that? it's the pool calling our names again. we grab a tuk-tuk. all we want is the hotel. wait, this doesn't look right we are on the wrong side of town and the wrong hotel. tuk-tuk driver won't bring us to the right hotel. he leaves. what is with the tuk-tuk drivers? next up a songeaw. wait this can't be happening again. we are going the wrong direction. they giggle at us, but eventually find their way. and ahhh the pool. finally. with added entertainment... the japanese workout team.

we should have known after the tuk-tuk/songaew expierence to stay in. it was the first signal that it was not going to be our night. we leave for an art market in hopes of finding good art.... no market, no art, nothing. we leave for the night market in hopes of gourging ourselves on street food... no food vendors, what? every other time food is everywhere. we leave for night bazaar in hopes of finding good crafts, nothing. stumble across an old man and hooker, wierd. alright we give up. we leave for the city and the east gate, but nothing, not even a good photo op. Hello Chiang beer. time to call it a night.

Tour Day - Day 4 (Chiang Mai + countryside)

Good morning, Thailand. here goes it, the tour. Please don't let this tour be hoaky.

First up, rafting. white water rafting. lots of instructions. too many instructions how am I going to keep this straight. wait, did i tell the guide I was uncoordinated and a klutz. he should know. 2 americans + 2 russians and one thai guide. go. pad-dle fo-ward. pad-dle four. voice like a song. peaceful. calm. oh shit. first out of 5 big rapids. here goes nothing. awesome. absolutely awesome. 3 more rapids. we are pros. last rapid, it's the biggest. hold on. wait, what's Matt doing? the raft, holy shit the raft it broke. don't even think of grabbing on to me. oh no, he's going overboard. wait, I'm going too. what the? oh no. remember the instructions, do I hang on? but wait don't put legs under raft or maybe I should float and coast it out? how do i do it again, head first? no feet first. oh shit. where's matt? screw matt he's stronger than me. somebody just grab me. ah back on board. so is Matt. that was ridiculous and hilarious. guide is laughing. didn't I say I was uncoordinated?



relaxing float back to camp. countryside is beautiful. it's hot. maybe we should go swimming. do you see that elephant? what's he doing? hmmm pooping in the water. yeah no swimming for me, thanks. lunch of chicken and rice + coca-cola and water. next up... biking.

They can't be serious. these are the bikes they want us to ride? bikes are shit. it's hot, like fry an egg hot. where do we go? what? up that huge hill, yeah right. is this one of those aha stupid tourist tours? This sucks. I'm hitching a ride with the tour pickup. Matt, tough Matt, he's going to do it. yeah stupid tourist... ends up walking bike up hill. But downhill, that's another story...... wheee!!!! Brake! brake! brake! finally we are at the elephant camp. that sucked.

the elephant camp is interesting. so many elephants. too many chained. it makes us sad. but we ride anyway. on a hilly path through the jungle. nice way to see the rural countryside. elephants are pigs. sugar cane & bananas... give me more, give me more. the ride is bumpy. Matt loved it although made him a bit sad too. but so did como zoo. touche.

lovely people on the tour with us. all young. 4 germans, 3 irish, 2 russians. germans off to krabi then dubai (Obama good for the world). irish going to Australia to work for six months. russsians spent two months in Dominican, wrapping up in Thailand. ahh the life of the jet set europeans.

Nap time. so nice to lay down. it was a long day. Matt leaves in search of a motorbike. only caution, don't die.

he survived. now it's off to find dinner. 100 baht tuk-tuk ride to east gate of old city. wandering, searching for House restaurant. finally find it. talk about a cluster. 2 restaurants. 5 menus. all at once. we are super confused. we eat in ginger cafe on big couches as dining chairs. Matt attempts to kick hit feet up. really? we are in a restaurant. odds and ends decor, loved by gays. Bon Appetit. dinner is good. dessert and coffee better. we are tired. it's 10:30 after all.

In transit, observations - Day 3 (Bangkok + Chiang Mai)

Another early morning. another quick breakfast. we walk the city. Sukhumvit Road in morning rush hour to be exact, Holy shit. talk about culture shock. what is with the food? everywhere? we need coffee. where is coffee? wait. do you see what those people are drinking. looks good, we must find. how the heck do we order. street vendors have no idea what we are saying. finally, chilled street coffee. 2 for 30 baht, literally just shy of $1. this is awesome. this is delicious.

more wandering. our senses are on overload. noisy, crazy mess of people. traffic is ridiculous. need a ride?... taxi, metered taxi, tuk-tuk, motorbike taxi, sky train. smog is killing us. hot and sweaty. what's that? yes pool you are calling our names. Quick dip. Grab coca-cola and beer and jet off for the jungle.

Chiang Mai. Resort is swank. no agenda. Matt lost his brain, we take a songtaew ride with no idea where to go or where it was going. another temple. another Buddha. not near as impressive as what we saw yesterday. that tree it's like the one in Panama, beautiful yellow flowered tree. Matt, where are we going? tired of temples. difficult day. wandering. hot. hungry. crabby. finally lunch... thai noodles please. we need a break. from what? from culture shock? from each other? back at hotel. peace.

it's evening, moods are much better. to the night bazaar. loads and loads of crap, some good, some weird, some just crap. you want to buy it, anything and everything, you name it. They say a picture is worth a thousands words, no, being here is worth a thousand words. can't get a picture to capture it quite right. Artist nook. we find the tile-man artist. beautiful paintings that we stare at forever. finally a purchase. no paintings but we get the tiles. every where we look we see ugly white men with beautiful Asian women. more overwhelming, but the good kind of overwhelming. we order gigantic beers x 2 + spicy ramen noodles. back to hotel via tuk-tuk. I feel fucked up, do you feel fucked up? first encounter with Chiang beer...

Night arrival & Exploration - Day 2 (Bangkok)

how come every city you go you see the same thing? traffic signs, roads, billboards all look the same. regardless of U.S or Asia. What corner of the world do you have to crawl to to see something different?

city is eerily dark. all the skyscrapers are dark. city is quiet.

Oh wait.... here we go... sukhumvit road. 1am Sunday what are all these people doing on the streets? who goes shopping for clothes at this hour? There is food everywhere... on bikes, on motorbikes, plastic chairs setup on sidewalks, mini restaurants. wait what was that street? one full block filled with neon lights, women, bars. Oh our hotel... finally our hotel... sleep.

6:15AM. It's morning. Finally exploration. I think this may be one of those corners of the world. Thai people are NICE. Damn it is hot & sweaty here. and the motorbikes, they are everywhere. morning rush hour and it is crazy busy. culture shock. off to the grand palace. this is overwhelming. so much gold, so much detail, so beautiful. temples and buddhas are awesome. thank god for everything in english. again, food is everywhere, only thing they do is eat? wait Thai people aren't so nice.... tuk-tuk leaves us.... thai center aka government scam.

it's lunch. we eat pad thai + coca-cola, Gai + fanta. cheap 226 baht, roughly 7 bucks (and we are in the tourist area).

we visit the emerald buddha, standing buddha (release birds), mountain temple,Wat Po & leaning buddha (that sound is lovely... coins dropped in bowls), Wat Arun (treacherous climb). we ride tuk-tuks, water taxis, try street food. still hot. drivers are crazy. Matt will have good luck & happiness in life forever. free the birds. cats with chopped off tails.

Exhausted. hotel with rooftop pool. Ahhh. Order 4 Mai Thais + dinner all at once. server is confused were are your friends. no friends these mai thais are just for us. in bed by 8:30.

1st Impressions - Day 1 (The Jumbo Jet)

Holy Shit this plane is huge. Japanese people are beautiful. How long until this plane starts to stink? How many people are on this thing, millions of $ worth? Hmmm what if I "accidentally" wander upstairs. We Americans ask a lot of foreign travellers.... mass confusion on seats ABC, DEFG, HJK. Bangkok time requires I sleep for 8 hours immediately after take-off. We are fucked. Matt thinks I am crazy. Where are all these people going? I will either be positive or very, very naive about the length of this flight....... Oh and Asians are micro-phobic, what's with all the surgical masks?

Lay over in Japan. the Japanese follow the rules. there is no breaking them even if it is ridiculous. such as a tripod that is 1/2 inch longer than the carry-on rule. for real 1/2 inch? and we can't speak to each other because the poor man who is following the rules does not speak English and we do not speak Japanese. at one point he will no longer let us carry or touch our own tripod. it really is quite comical. and oh-so quiet. like deafening quiet so when we start to giggle and laugh out loud, he looks at us very strangely. now this is going to be interesting.