Move Numero Uno

Still playing catch up here..... we got brave and put our house on the market in June. Matt extended his resume to include realtor via the for sale by owner route. We had no idea how it would go, all I knew is that we had to escape our teenage next door neighbor before I lost my mind. And so we played the game, we cleaned and made the house smell amazing. We made signs and strategically placed them around the area. And then we sat and waited... my weekends were spent in the park with Sonny while Matt played open house. In three short weeks it was SOLD! and then came the oh shit moment... where are we going to live? Downtown baby! It took a little convincing and few twists of the arm but one place with 15' ceilings and wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling windows took care of it. Matt was sold. And so we moved "temporarily" into a condo downtown. No way was Matt going to like it, no way was Matt going to stay longer than six months. We would have another house in the 'Minneapolis suburbs' before too long....

From..... To.....

Love your Mother...

Go see what she created... we did... aka Dunjacks go west little miss sunshine style. I didn't think we could do it, I didn't think we would all survive... I am mean your talking about a ten day road trip with my mother, myself and if that's not enough throw my brother and husband in there. but we did it and we survived... all four of us with the help of a rad conversion van. We racked up a total of 3800 miles cross country. for reals, it was so awesome we might even attempt it again next year.

One night in Bangkok - Day 13 (Bangkok)

it's our last day in Thailand. we are incredibly sad. this country, these people are more than we imagined. we have fallen in love with Thailand. and so we sulk. we wander the streets of Bangkok taking it all in one last time. We wander past street vendors and massage parlours. we venture to the mall and wander through stores. unknown to us Thailand is sending us off in style... we stumble across a sea of teenagers all going crazy for some asian rock band and then we are listening to a live concert the only white people in a crowd of crazy, crazy thai fans. just passed the concert we stumble upon a Thai celebration... something to do with the king or a water festival ?!?! who knows... but the food is amazing and people watching is at its best. We met a family of five, three teens and two parents. Mom is driving the kids nuts trying to get them to practice their english with us. they are clearly embarrassed. its too cute. and so we sit and visit with them. we learn about their lives, how they want to come to America, where they want to go to school and what for. we take pictures and exchange emails. and part our separate ways. really there is no better way to spend our last night in thailand.

And now we are back to wandering, it's getting dark. We catch a street style breakdance off one of the subway stops. its entertaining. its the early nineties all over again. we are exhausted but the city just won't let us go. and so we stay up all night enjoying the street fare. unbelievably with darkness comes shopping. the vendors come out. the mall closes and the street malls open. these people shop all night, every night. we're dumbfounded. when the shopping gets to be to much we settle for our old friend, one last time chaing. we are back on cowboy soi the street with the neon lights, you just can't go wrong in terms of people watching, complete with usual blind man and microphone, hookers and dirty white men. sitting at a bar on the end of the street we listen to one of the most hilarious conversations we have ever heard... a group of english men, one guy has been missing all day and before you know it his friends are shouting at a random man and a thai "masseuse" walking down the streets. it's their friend, dirty bastard! and so he proceeds to join his friends along with his "masseuse" for a round of drinks. The conversation is ridiculous, we can't stop listening. we are laughing and trying so hard to conceal our enjoyment at this ridiculous group of dirty english men.

sawatdee thailand! sawatdee!

Days of Beach & Karma Accruing - Day 11 & 12 (Krabi cont'd)

we sleep in. we have coffee. it's going to be another great day in Thailand. after our hard days of diving we need some beach time. we jump on a longtail boat. off to railey beach. past cliffs, over turquoise waters. yep just like in a magazine. we're on the beach with a beach mat, a beer and a book. another beer, a dip in the water. yep another great day in Thailand. we eat lunch and decide to be a bit more productive. we tour railey east. we explore the island through "mini" rock climbing. we walk along the beach. it's amazing. we grab another longtail home. and we're poolside with drinks. ahhhh.......

Dinner is Ao Nang cuisine. excellent curry. we wander through "bar district" and the back, "back" bars. "hey mister want a massage?" "hey lady want a massage?" weird. time to go home.

Day 12 begins noisy. A thai wedding ceremony. loud! the groom, his family and his entourage make their way through the "village" to ask permission for the bride. drums. and percussion. and monks. its super interesting and super beautiful. we have breakfast. we watch the wedding. we start to get ancy for an adventure.

and the adventure... this might be the stupidest adventure we have attempted yet.. the tiger temple... the first part not so bad, the second just pain stupid. We enter a cave, aka monk temple. about a dozen monks performing their daily chant. the sound is beautiful.

the monks proceed to lunch and we are astonished with the feast they have, all kinds of fresh seafood, it looks delicious. on to the second part.... the buddha.... 1300 steps to the top... 1300. yeah, pretty sure we didn't think this through before we started. one word Yuck!! quite simply it sucked, it was hot and sweaty and there was no water. the stairs were inconsistent.. a short stair, a giant stair, a crumbling stair. it was bad. and the buddha... not that great. the views on the other hand, they were fantastic, although I am not sure they were worth the pain. story is that visiting this buddha and climbing this climb is worth a shit ton of karma... it better be. We hurried down as fast as we could go. towards the end... holy shit! a monkey sliding down the handrail. those buggers can freak a person out!

After that "adventure" it is definitely time for Ao Nang beach again... to lay in the shade... to read a book... to nap... to get a massage... to drink beer, now this is more like it! Matt wanders he finds wild monkeys playing in a stream, swinging on a swing and eating fruit, it's like watching a bunch of kids at a playground. pretty amazing. Next up, a repeat of yesterday... poolside with drinks. It's our last night in Krabi. we eat at Blue Mango it is fantastic. we can't leave without lighting our lanterns. Accruing yet another round of karma. Make a wish... I wish, I wish we never had to leave.......

Another hard day - Day 10 (Krabi cont'd)

7:30am dive pick-up. This time we get the Dutch assistant. no keith. it's a long boat ride out to Phi-Phi Island. the weather is perfect. the Dutch guy is interesting. dive #1 is mostly for fun. AMAZING. AMAZING. absolutely AMAZING. these are the dives people dream for, and certainly should not have been our first one, nothing will ever compare. corals are beautiful, fish are beautiful. we see 5 sharks. 5 sharks!! are you kidding me? we're practically swimming in an aquarium. we finish our skills. we take a break on the boat. I am speechless. Matt is speechless. we've experienced something we never have before. it's simply great. dive #2 is for fun. we motor to a different island. right back in the aquarium. we see 5 giant sea turtles. 5! they are beautiful creatures. along the way one more shark this time a sleeping leopard shark. okay one more time... AMAZING! the dives wipe us out. a long boat trip back and we are officially certified divers!

for the evening we take a break from Thai food. it's pizza at lavinia. as we eat we watch the circus street show going on outside on the sidewalk. okay not really a circus but none the less great people watching. one man, one monkey and a floundering business. it's starts with a handshake and surprise there is now a monkey crawling up your arm, oh you want a picture? flash! okay 5 bucks. what? you're mad... oh you mean not everyone enjoys a live monkey crawling on them? people are freaked out. we are thoroughly entertained. On top of it the monkey man is chewing leaves "leaves that fuck up the mind" with an occasional drug run to get more supply. hmmm... any correlation with Chaing beer? The street show dies down so we wander. wander up and down the strip, through the street shops. we stop for hagen daas. we're back home. home? we wish.

Sit down take a load off - Eve of Day 8 + Day 9 (Krabi)

Ahhh.... ocean air. this resort is amazing. the architecture is brilliant. there is not much else to ask for with the exception of a beer and a smoke on a fantastic balcony, now it's complete. We wander across the street for thai dinner. again Chaing, we love you. sound of waves, moonlit sky, floating paper lanterns it just doesn't get any better.

Day 9 starts with a bang. we are picked up by Keith. Keith, the english, rugby-playing dive instructor. 4 dives over two days. i am a bit nervous... i mean the pool scared me and now we're supposed to do this in the ocean? first dive is fun and beautiful! 2nd dive is for skills... mask on, mask off. we pass. scuba isn't that bad, it's peaceful and calm. we are back on land and ready for adventure. Motorbike #2 it is. we search for gasoline. the pump once found, is basically a glass container with a hose, interesting. we try to make small talk with the locals who own the gas contraption but they don't know english and every time we speak they laugh. and we laugh.


we're off, on a dirt path, along the ocean, to who knows where. Ao Nang beach it is. at the end of the non-descript path we land at one of the most fantastic strips of beach bars we have ever encountered. Outdoor massage, hammocks, drinks, food, shit... even elephants. we find a seat at the last Fisherman's cafe and order our friend Chaing. we watch the sunset. instant relaxation. it's dark and time for dinner so to town we go. food is okay, fried peanuts as app = one plate of peanuts, too funny. every waitress is a lady boy and ours ends every interaction he has with us with "one moment please." love it! we grab ice cream. we jump on the bike and cruise the strip. High on Chiang and motorbiking, its lovely. we don't last long... to bed by 9:30.

Weekend Market - Day 8 (Bangkok cont'd)

More markets. More shopping. This time the most dizzying, intoxicating experience ever. hands down. we have our usual breakfast and head towards the largest open air market in the world. open saturdays and sundays only. Huge. Huge market. Selling again anything and everything. the people are in mass.

just the first step in the market is overwhelming. so far, the smells, well they've been pretty good. nothing too horrific with the exception of an occasional whiff of piss, shit or garbage. But today at market, well that's a different story. the first step into the tiny little aisles that separate the shops and we are hit with well quite frankly a smell I never want to smell again in my life. It was horrible. Our stomachs turned, our pace quickened and we had to do everything we could to not hurl in the middle of the market. and then.... fresh air. it never smelt so good.

We wander and wander. there are pets for sale and original artwork. Old books and cheap plastic buddhas. paper and scarves. Just a lot stuff. whole sections of the market dedicated to one type of item. Nice stuff too. I could have wandered forever minus the complete cultural overload. Asian fashion is awesome. My fav for sure. I could have purchased a complete new wardrobe barring any time constraints. best of all it was cheap! cheap! cheap! we sent 2500 baht roughly $75 dollars and left with a loot.

Next on the agenda.... a flight to Krabi and some much needed R&R.

Tour de Tong - Day 7 (Bangkok + Surroundings)

7am pick-up. Hello Ning, give us the tour.

From Bangkok via hired car we drive to our first destination... the railway market. absolutely incredible. packed. prime time grocery shopping. every food imaginable for sale. Think curry paste, live eels, starfish, pink eggs, pig legs, fruit, live catfish, squid, water bugs, herbs, veggies. both sides of the tracks lined with food, literally lined right up next the iron tracks. we wander and wander, clearly spell bound. it's like the land of oz where are the flying monkeys?

there's commotion, crazy commotion. awnings go up, tables are pushed in, thai yelling, the tracks are suddenly empty. ahhh train coming! training coming! but business must go on. it's phasing no one except for the awe struck tourists, clearly the minority. we are pulled inside a shop. whistle blows. wind blows. the train does not slow, business must go on with or without a casualty. FDA? forget the FDA. the food is fine as the train passes right over just barely grazing the top. Awnings are down. tables are back out. just business as usual, 3 maybe 4 times a day, everyday. all just part of a normal day. Crazy!!!

next up the floating market. we rent a boat, more like a gondola. 400 baht. through the canals, passing boats, 'boat shops', vendors. its crazy busy and crazy hot. food everywhere. the photo ops are one in a million. we watch the boats, colors, people. we smell the smells. it's truly like nothing else. the canals are traffic jammed, watch your fingers! we paddle past banana farms and coconut farms and family homes. Ning feeds every dog in sight. we coast next to a noodle boat vendor and grab pork noodle soup and coconut pancakes. de-lish! we are satisfied. we are full of happiness. we are hungover on culture. we are warm, fuzzy times ten.

what's next? I mean really nothing can top this. it's a long drive. on the way we see salt farms and daily rural thai life. those hats why did i not purchase a few? we pit shop at the Thai handi-craft center. uber talented Thais. the carvings are elaborate. Ning makes a point to point out all the dirty ones, elephant penis, elephants pooping, humping monkeys. huh, really. Thanks Ning.

It's true, saving the best for last is always worth it. we are at a fishing village. no words. literally no words fit what we are seeing, feeling, smelling, eating. it just.... well no words. it does not and will not ever compare. another boat, this one with a mud motor. we stop by a farmers boat. they are cleaning nets. they are pure joy. big smiles. warm hearts. we can't communicate but I can see they are happy to show and they can see we are happy to be shown. fish for fish oil, funky little crabs and yes one red snake. Ning says no and I say thank you.

we drive out to sea. mind the bamboo road markers. wait, what is that? who is that? we coast up to a women dressed from the sun, shoulder high in sea water, just hanging out, floating. well not entirely she is spending six hours of her day in the water farming scallops from the muddy sea bottom. filling a laundry basket full. all day, every day. perspective. right there that is pure, clear perspective... that desk isn't so bad after all.

a quick detour off the sea into a channel. we sit. we wait. we wait some more. uhh what are we waiting for? what am I missing? Oh, oh is that it? Is that what we are here for? what the heck is that? fish? fish running on top of the water!?! what? yah! there's another one... and another. mud-skippers!! we giggle. we scream. our 'captain' who speaks zero English is laughing at us. a full belly laugh. it is awesome. we are done with the mud-skippers and so now he decides to show off. we are back out to sea but this time on the shallow side. well more like mud side. he revs the engine and takes us on a full out boat cruise through the mud. it's interesting. Matt thinks its awesome. Ning is with me. I think it's a guy thing.

Next up the mussel farm. they are green, attached to bamboo stakes in the sea. those fabulous mussels we love to eat take a year to grow. one year. oysters are next. little cement pieces tied to strings tied to poles hanging in the water. again another year to grow. there are bamboo huts on slits over the water everywhere. the oyster, mussel, scallop business is a hot business. huts serve as sleeping quarters and thieve lookouts. and impromptu dining places for western tourists. we carefully make our way up the bamboo ladder. it's a fabulous view. it's a fabulous lunch. Fresh, hot seafood. Did I say FRESH seafood, like literally nabbed right out of the sea we are standing above. shrimp stew, gigantic prawns, rice, catfish, whole fish, seaweed. we are left to dine alone. just the two of us and this great big sea. de-lish! we are full. and we are amazed.

we relax for a bit but the captain has one last adventure. for real I don't think there is anything left. it can't get any better. but we are back on the boat cruising through the sea. onto another channel. again we wait and we drift. and then we see them... one monkey, two monkeys... ten monkeys and before we know it more wild monkeys than we have ever seen before. That's why Ning bought all that ridiculous fruit. we are here to feed the wild monkeys. apple-like fruit and bananas. we throw fistfuls to the island, to the monkeys. they go crazy, they make crazy noise. Monkeys are coming from all over now swimming through the water, swinging through trees, cannon-balling from branches down to the water to get closer. all in an effort to get food. so happy to get food. there are big monkeys and little monkeys and mama monkeys with little baby monkeys clinging to their chest. 2 tribes. clearly one from the wrong side of the water. they are screeching and swimming and swinging and jumping and now fighting, viciously fighting. one tribe retreats. we follow. we feed until we are out of food. and we laugh. who does this stuff?!?!?

we say our goodbyes. we are back to Bangkok. Thank you Ning. Thank for showing us things we didn't even know existed. thank you for this awesome, awesome tour.

and where do we go when are full of happiness and culturally overloaded? back to the rooftop pool to float in all our joy.

we clean up, dress up and pump up. a night on the town. a splurge on a dinner in a fancy, fancy restaurant. Moon Bar. 59th floor of the Banyan Tree Resort. And when I say 59th floor I mean 59th floor open air restaurant and bar. It is incredible. It's breath taking. We are sitting at a bar on the edge of a freaking skyscraper. we test the waters and have drinks and smokes first. Our timing is right we can get a table for dinner. The menu is astonishing, $40 for f'in chicken and that is the only thing in that price range... the lowest price range. Didn't we just have lunch for two for under two bucks the other day? So we pretend to be vegetarian, it's the less expensive route and we don't appear cheap ;) Fantastic food. potato cream soup. Cesar salad. chilled pea soup. lemongrass sorbet. vegetable angel hair. vegetable? something dish. it doesn't sound super amazing but the flavors were to die for. followed by honey lavender ice cream. Wow! it's a top 10 dining experience.
amazing city views, spectacular dinner, complimentary photo and fantastic asian 20-something people watching (puerto rico all over again but this time in super short dresses). and another fabulous day ended in Thailand!

Sawatdee Chiang Mai - Day 6 (Back to Bangkok)

we jet out of chiang mai on a early flight to bangkok. excited. what's next? what other beautiful things will we see?

oh but the "hired" drivers at the airport.. they can drive you crazy. we fanaggle with one. try to walk away but they already have our stuff and are starting to load in the car. what? you are too expensive we don't want a ride from you. okay fine. but, only if you take the highway. Matt this does not look like the highway... we are not stupid tourist (well not today). finally our hotel. the hotel of my choice, I am super excited about it. our room, enter. oh this is not at all what I expected. oh no. we can't stay here. Damn Conde Neste, this is no 2007 best hotel, this is crap.

Please don't let this be a continuation of last night and another day not in our cards. back to the admirial with the rooftop pool. no charge at the original hotel. this is a turn for the better. we are starving and instead of the pool this time, it is our friend, Chiang beer, calling our names.

we are full. we are happy. I feel funny, do you feel funny? we are fucked up. we heart Chiang beer. Spa time? Yep. I get a one hour hot oil massage. hot, not really. but good, yes. and a one hour facial. trust me we are at an actual spa, not a "massage palour." But still, it's a little weird. Matt gets a 2 hour traditional thai massage. weird. good. maybe sore. tired. Maybe weird because "Michelle" was his masseuse?!? did I mention there are a lot of lady-boys in thailand? Okay "Michelle" was not his masseuse but it could have been pretty damn funny.

Back to the hotel. Smoothies & internet. the pool, ahh the pool. breeze is lovely. sun is lovely. did I see that it was -7 degrees at home?!? ahh the pool.

Pizza for dinner. real italian pizza, I mean real italian pizza. it is awesome. time to wander. we venture from Asok to NaNa, along sumkuhvit road. Stall after stall of merchandise aka crap. shoes. jewelry. watches. bags. luggage. pornos. food. etc. etc. we see every culture. middle eastern. african. asian. european. we smell every smell. we see some of the strangest food. and burkas, real burkas. I've never seen real burkas before. middle eastern men have a staring problem. and don't forget the elephant, just wandering down the middle of the street. cultural overload. i feel high, again. did I mention we think Chiang beer is laced with opium?

It's late. more white men with asian women. hookers and drag queens everywhere. remember that neon street? this is it. Cowboy Soi. Oh my god. neon lights. sex for sale. street is packed. how many perverts are there? Matt doesn't think they are all for sale... really? trust me they are all for sale. close your mouth, terrin. don't look too shocked. damn I wish my memory card in the camera wasn't full. slightly distrubing. this is too much. It's time to go to bed.

Motorbike, Motorbike - Day 5 (Chiang Mai cont'd)

Please dont' let us die, get stranded or lost on the motorbike.

motorbike adventure to mountian of Doi Suthep. windy, curvy roads. Mountain temple is the ultimate goal. they drive on the wrong side of the road. we are behind a tour bus the entire way. but we survive. we make it. 350 stairs to the top. Look, see the monks. the views would be beautiful minus the smog. temple is beautiful. well worth the trip. but isn't everything in thailand? bells, bells and more bells. I am officially obsessed with taking pictures of bells.

we are back at the bottom. the markets are good wish we could buy more. And again, the food it's every where. tons and tons of fruit. fruit we have never ever seen before. those strawberries with sugar look delicious. wait that's not sugar, it's spicy thai salt, interesting. we buy more fruit, this time neon green. do you know what this is? no, no idea. but it's delicious. and the people watching is superb. not many westerners.

time to go. rut-ro we are out of petro... throw her in nuetral and coast down the mountain. it's beautiful. we are like little kids, look no hands, well not Matt, but me. we find a gas stations, petro is $2. for real $2 to fillup.

Off to Lamphun. Lamphun is not much of a town but just the motorbike ride through the country is worth it. we see local thais. we are in areas with zero tourists. look rubber trees, like Hawaii. and the monks, they are everwhere, going to school, collecting alms. the culture, i have no words. we stumble across a small restuarant. they apparently don't get many tourists because they can't stop giggling at us and staring at us. foreign, white people equals crazy excitement. that in itself makes the trip. When are we ever the miniority? and lunch 2 bowls of noodles + 2 bottles of H20..... 65 baht.... holy crap that is $1.75.. what?!? we are definitely a spectacle.

really? the super highway? you want to take the superhighway back? and man is it super. we drive 100 kmph on the shoulder back to Chiang Mai. on a motorbike. that's a holy shit kind of crazy. oh our butts and our legs. we are sore. time to give up the motorbike. we are tired. and Matt do you hear that? it's the pool calling our names again. we grab a tuk-tuk. all we want is the hotel. wait, this doesn't look right we are on the wrong side of town and the wrong hotel. tuk-tuk driver won't bring us to the right hotel. he leaves. what is with the tuk-tuk drivers? next up a songeaw. wait this can't be happening again. we are going the wrong direction. they giggle at us, but eventually find their way. and ahhh the pool. finally. with added entertainment... the japanese workout team.

we should have known after the tuk-tuk/songaew expierence to stay in. it was the first signal that it was not going to be our night. we leave for an art market in hopes of finding good art.... no market, no art, nothing. we leave for the night market in hopes of gourging ourselves on street food... no food vendors, what? every other time food is everywhere. we leave for night bazaar in hopes of finding good crafts, nothing. stumble across an old man and hooker, wierd. alright we give up. we leave for the city and the east gate, but nothing, not even a good photo op. Hello Chiang beer. time to call it a night.

Tour Day - Day 4 (Chiang Mai + countryside)

Good morning, Thailand. here goes it, the tour. Please don't let this tour be hoaky.

First up, rafting. white water rafting. lots of instructions. too many instructions how am I going to keep this straight. wait, did i tell the guide I was uncoordinated and a klutz. he should know. 2 americans + 2 russians and one thai guide. go. pad-dle fo-ward. pad-dle four. voice like a song. peaceful. calm. oh shit. first out of 5 big rapids. here goes nothing. awesome. absolutely awesome. 3 more rapids. we are pros. last rapid, it's the biggest. hold on. wait, what's Matt doing? the raft, holy shit the raft it broke. don't even think of grabbing on to me. oh no, he's going overboard. wait, I'm going too. what the? oh no. remember the instructions, do I hang on? but wait don't put legs under raft or maybe I should float and coast it out? how do i do it again, head first? no feet first. oh shit. where's matt? screw matt he's stronger than me. somebody just grab me. ah back on board. so is Matt. that was ridiculous and hilarious. guide is laughing. didn't I say I was uncoordinated?



relaxing float back to camp. countryside is beautiful. it's hot. maybe we should go swimming. do you see that elephant? what's he doing? hmmm pooping in the water. yeah no swimming for me, thanks. lunch of chicken and rice + coca-cola and water. next up... biking.

They can't be serious. these are the bikes they want us to ride? bikes are shit. it's hot, like fry an egg hot. where do we go? what? up that huge hill, yeah right. is this one of those aha stupid tourist tours? This sucks. I'm hitching a ride with the tour pickup. Matt, tough Matt, he's going to do it. yeah stupid tourist... ends up walking bike up hill. But downhill, that's another story...... wheee!!!! Brake! brake! brake! finally we are at the elephant camp. that sucked.

the elephant camp is interesting. so many elephants. too many chained. it makes us sad. but we ride anyway. on a hilly path through the jungle. nice way to see the rural countryside. elephants are pigs. sugar cane & bananas... give me more, give me more. the ride is bumpy. Matt loved it although made him a bit sad too. but so did como zoo. touche.

lovely people on the tour with us. all young. 4 germans, 3 irish, 2 russians. germans off to krabi then dubai (Obama good for the world). irish going to Australia to work for six months. russsians spent two months in Dominican, wrapping up in Thailand. ahh the life of the jet set europeans.

Nap time. so nice to lay down. it was a long day. Matt leaves in search of a motorbike. only caution, don't die.

he survived. now it's off to find dinner. 100 baht tuk-tuk ride to east gate of old city. wandering, searching for House restaurant. finally find it. talk about a cluster. 2 restaurants. 5 menus. all at once. we are super confused. we eat in ginger cafe on big couches as dining chairs. Matt attempts to kick hit feet up. really? we are in a restaurant. odds and ends decor, loved by gays. Bon Appetit. dinner is good. dessert and coffee better. we are tired. it's 10:30 after all.

In transit, observations - Day 3 (Bangkok + Chiang Mai)

Another early morning. another quick breakfast. we walk the city. Sukhumvit Road in morning rush hour to be exact, Holy shit. talk about culture shock. what is with the food? everywhere? we need coffee. where is coffee? wait. do you see what those people are drinking. looks good, we must find. how the heck do we order. street vendors have no idea what we are saying. finally, chilled street coffee. 2 for 30 baht, literally just shy of $1. this is awesome. this is delicious.

more wandering. our senses are on overload. noisy, crazy mess of people. traffic is ridiculous. need a ride?... taxi, metered taxi, tuk-tuk, motorbike taxi, sky train. smog is killing us. hot and sweaty. what's that? yes pool you are calling our names. Quick dip. Grab coca-cola and beer and jet off for the jungle.

Chiang Mai. Resort is swank. no agenda. Matt lost his brain, we take a songtaew ride with no idea where to go or where it was going. another temple. another Buddha. not near as impressive as what we saw yesterday. that tree it's like the one in Panama, beautiful yellow flowered tree. Matt, where are we going? tired of temples. difficult day. wandering. hot. hungry. crabby. finally lunch... thai noodles please. we need a break. from what? from culture shock? from each other? back at hotel. peace.

it's evening, moods are much better. to the night bazaar. loads and loads of crap, some good, some weird, some just crap. you want to buy it, anything and everything, you name it. They say a picture is worth a thousands words, no, being here is worth a thousand words. can't get a picture to capture it quite right. Artist nook. we find the tile-man artist. beautiful paintings that we stare at forever. finally a purchase. no paintings but we get the tiles. every where we look we see ugly white men with beautiful Asian women. more overwhelming, but the good kind of overwhelming. we order gigantic beers x 2 + spicy ramen noodles. back to hotel via tuk-tuk. I feel fucked up, do you feel fucked up? first encounter with Chiang beer...

Night arrival & Exploration - Day 2 (Bangkok)

how come every city you go you see the same thing? traffic signs, roads, billboards all look the same. regardless of U.S or Asia. What corner of the world do you have to crawl to to see something different?

city is eerily dark. all the skyscrapers are dark. city is quiet.

Oh wait.... here we go... sukhumvit road. 1am Sunday what are all these people doing on the streets? who goes shopping for clothes at this hour? There is food everywhere... on bikes, on motorbikes, plastic chairs setup on sidewalks, mini restaurants. wait what was that street? one full block filled with neon lights, women, bars. Oh our hotel... finally our hotel... sleep.

6:15AM. It's morning. Finally exploration. I think this may be one of those corners of the world. Thai people are NICE. Damn it is hot & sweaty here. and the motorbikes, they are everywhere. morning rush hour and it is crazy busy. culture shock. off to the grand palace. this is overwhelming. so much gold, so much detail, so beautiful. temples and buddhas are awesome. thank god for everything in english. again, food is everywhere, only thing they do is eat? wait Thai people aren't so nice.... tuk-tuk leaves us.... thai center aka government scam.

it's lunch. we eat pad thai + coca-cola, Gai + fanta. cheap 226 baht, roughly 7 bucks (and we are in the tourist area).

we visit the emerald buddha, standing buddha (release birds), mountain temple,Wat Po & leaning buddha (that sound is lovely... coins dropped in bowls), Wat Arun (treacherous climb). we ride tuk-tuks, water taxis, try street food. still hot. drivers are crazy. Matt will have good luck & happiness in life forever. free the birds. cats with chopped off tails.

Exhausted. hotel with rooftop pool. Ahhh. Order 4 Mai Thais + dinner all at once. server is confused were are your friends. no friends these mai thais are just for us. in bed by 8:30.

1st Impressions - Day 1 (The Jumbo Jet)

Holy Shit this plane is huge. Japanese people are beautiful. How long until this plane starts to stink? How many people are on this thing, millions of $ worth? Hmmm what if I "accidentally" wander upstairs. We Americans ask a lot of foreign travellers.... mass confusion on seats ABC, DEFG, HJK. Bangkok time requires I sleep for 8 hours immediately after take-off. We are fucked. Matt thinks I am crazy. Where are all these people going? I will either be positive or very, very naive about the length of this flight....... Oh and Asians are micro-phobic, what's with all the surgical masks?

Lay over in Japan. the Japanese follow the rules. there is no breaking them even if it is ridiculous. such as a tripod that is 1/2 inch longer than the carry-on rule. for real 1/2 inch? and we can't speak to each other because the poor man who is following the rules does not speak English and we do not speak Japanese. at one point he will no longer let us carry or touch our own tripod. it really is quite comical. and oh-so quiet. like deafening quiet so when we start to giggle and laugh out loud, he looks at us very strangely. now this is going to be interesting.

Drum Roll Please..... THAILAND!

Okay, here we go... I don't even know where to start; overall, we took close to 3,000 pictures while on vacation. Camera crazed for sure. But one can't really help themselves, Thailand is simply beautiful. I've been searching all week for a way to describe it and really, nothing works. The people are so generous, kind, friendly, and warm. The women are exceptionally beautiful, odd I know, but I couldn't help constantly checking them out. The culture is pure peace. The language is quiet and calm. The food is interesting. The Western male tourists are perverts. And the scenery is breath-taking. Forget the 23 hour flight and go already!!

I learned a few things while in Thailand..

1) We have quite possibly picked the single best president the US could ever imagine. The whole world agrees. From the second we sat in our first cab in Bangkok, the third or so statement from he driver's mouth and after "where are you from" in broken English was "Obama!", from the numerous Obama t-shirts on the backs of local Thais in every corner of Bangkok, to the politically obsessed Europeans... Germans, Irish, Dutch, Russians we visited with; it is clear the world loves Obama. When I mentioned that Obama was good for us, meaning us Americans, I was countered with Obama is good for the world. How right they are.

2) We are extremely privileged to live the lifestyles we do. Yes, we have a long ways to go in certain aspects.... crime, fear, reputation, greed, etc, etc. But overall we are educated, we are successful, our standards of living are high, we make good money, we are plentiful in employment, we have shelter, we have food. This is not to say that Thailand doesn't, in fact in ways Thailand is a lot like the U.S., but there are some things that are different. For instance, Thailand is extremely inexpensive compared to U.S. standards, the people make considerably less. Retirement is not common. Parents work their whole lives just to get their kids to school. There are not many government assistance programs, if you are out of work you are out of work, if you are disabled, well good luck... here's a bucket/microphone take to the streets for income. You get my drift in not so many words we are privileged.

3) Green. Green. Green. If you are not green yet, get green now. If you are half-assing it now, you gotta work way harder. Unfortunately, Thailand and I am sure many Asian countries or for that matter, less developed countries have not caught green fever. The waste and pollution is ridiculous. Think of countries that have unsafe drinking water i.e. no drinking water from the tap = limited use of reusable cups/bottles = millions of plastic bottles in the trash. I was absolutely astonished at the amount of plastic bottles in public trash containers... all ready to be put in a landfill. And that's just one small example. There is a serious amount of waste. We've got to double-time, triple-time it people, if we want to save this planet!